Thursday, August 3, 2017

De-dicking my life

Last year at one of my onesie parties, my friends took it upon themselves to put little paper penis' all over my house. 


They got pretty creative, sticking them to door handles, and other places I'd have to touch them. 


It's made for some interesting scenarios, my favourite of which was when I had a sex toy home party sales lady over, and mid sentence she says, "wait, are there penis' all over your house? I thought for a minute I'd been in the business too long, seeing dicks everywhere..." 

Last week I opened the book Jon was reading, and found a small collection of my paper penis' on the front page! I sent a snap titled #dicktheif that I didn't save. 

Turns out, little by little he's been de-dicking my place. Couple times he put them up at the construction job sites.

But on the day we've been dating for six months, I also feel it nessesary to point out the other way he removed dicks from my life, by being a rock star boyfriend. 


Cheers to surrounding yourself with amazing people, and realizing one day how ridiculously happy you are. I wish this kind of happiness for all my friends and family, but also for all the dicks in the world, maybe it'll soften you up a little.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Scary AF

Similar to men who watch videos of other men being kicked or punched in the junk would instinctively grab their own, this image scares me in a big way. 


I want absolutely nothing of what you're offereing. Hard no. If you don't know what "AF" means, quick, ask the closest teenager. 


 


 

Friday, July 7, 2017

Hug it out

There's a lot of hate blaming going around online right now, I say we just take the Barney approach, "Can't we all just get along?" We should all just hug it out. Big 'ol group hug instead of rally's. 


Even the smelly people, we'll just hug them quickly. Even the people that aren't enthusiastic about the idea, we'll just talk them into it and squeeze. 

At the very least, if you're ever feeling sad about the state of the world, Google "group hug". I have a personal favourite: 



 

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Nice rack

I was all geared up to tell you about my epic wine rack night. And then I realized I'd just called it an epic wine rack night. To summarize:



Right, so safe to say my life is pretty boring these days. When we left Salmon Arm after May Long weekend, my grandfather surprised my sister and I with planters. I was genuinely excited about it, so much so that I've actually managed to keep it alive! 


You should have seen how excited I got when I found the dryer sheets gramsie hid in my stuff too! 500 sheets! Golly! I'm gunna be honest, I kinda like boring. I like that this was the hardest decision we made all day Monday...


I feel so adulty. Although I recognize that saying that just makes it untrue. 
 
 

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Gray day

I had two comments about my gray hair yesterday, both in a negative light. One person just teased me straight up, and the other commented that I'm "prematurely gray" for my age. 


Oh? Compared to whom? I got gray hairs before the majority of the population? Lucky me. What if aging isn't something inevitable, to dread, but a privilege that should be celebrated? This is whom I am, I've just decided not to cover it up anymore. I'm sure I'll dye it again, in however long, but lately I'm feeling even more justified in my decision. #grayisbeautiful2 

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Jon's first fish

As it turns out, Jon had never been fishing before we took him out for May Long Weekend to Lac Le Jeune with my Uncle and his friend. 


My uncle was so good at talking like a dentist through the gear, tying a fly on, how many colours to let out and the whole bit. I might even say he enjoyed teaching someone who was so eager to learn. So we fished. And fished. 

My uncle caught one small one we kept, and we had a couple bites, but nothing to write home about. 

On our way back to the boat launch, Jon decides he has to pee, and declined my uncles offer of the "pee bucket". "Well you better not pee on the side of my boat!" He says. So for Jon to lean out far enough, I held the back of his belt loop so he didn't fall in. Then my Uncles teasing about having his worm out as bait, and they're bantering away when all of a sudden, my Uncles friends line zings. For anyone who's heard this sound, it's exhilarating. What timing though, everyone jumping around in the 12 foot boat at the same time! 

So my Uncle's friend grabs the rod, sets the hook and everyone else starts reeling their lines in so they don't cross. Except that they did. The fish is jumping away in the background while Jon's hanging out the side of the boat trying to untangle the lines. That's when my Uncle says, "once in a while, we still managed to catch the fish before when this has happened.." and I'm thinking, "not a single chance in the world.." when Jon starts saying he can still feel the fish on the line! So he starts pulling the line in by hand! 

And I grab the net, and can you beleive we netted that bugger? 


We called it a combined effort. Although I was sad Jon didn't catch his own fish, not even when I sent him out the next day without me, he caught something all fisherman love more than a big fish. 

An awesome story.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Opportunity spoiled

I feel very lucky in my life, for so many reasons. I've been told recently that it's got nothing to do with luck, that I've built a life full of happiness and love, but I can't take that much credit. I love Mascoting, and all the opportunities I've gotten to do it. That came about by happenstance mostly, and just by emailing saying I'm enthusiastic. 


I love Acro Yoga, Erin and Jim at Centered Within Yoga are just amazing people, and I feel so close to them and Theresa. I met them all last Ocotober at the Yoga retreat I went on, but it took my until May to muster the courage and time to do it. It enriches my life in so many ways. 


Dodgeball. Judo. Riding my bike to Harrison last month. Aquasize. I was driving from Jon's to Yoga the other morning, and a favourite song of mine came on the radio. I felt so overwhelmed with happiness that I got goosebumps. I wish this for everyone, even the people I don't nessesrily like. Be #goosebumphappy!