Thursday, December 10, 2015

Do you wanna build a boyfriend?

Let me just say that dating stresses me out, big time. I live in constant fear of mixing guys up! Names, professions, pastimes. The struggle is REAL! 
For those of us who haven't been in the dating game in a while, Grams let's say, seeing 3-4 guys at once is completely socially acceptable until one calls the "EXCLUSIVE" card. I'm also aware of an ass tonne of other dating rules, and I'm sure I'm breaking every single one simultaneously. This becomes even more of a problem when one has such a bad memory, she can't even keep straight which men she's given the link to her blog to. Now it's literary Russian Roullette. My jokes could be mostly funny to most people, but gawd forbid someone figures out their own nickname! 
So anyways I was chatting with a friend of mine and I said I've found I like different aspects and character traits, can't you just pick and choose, like build your own sandwich at Subway? And that's how I broke into a modified Frozen song. "do you wanna build a boyfriend? It's doesn't have to be a boyfriend..." 

Parenting an orphan

With so little of my own parents in my life, a few hilarious things have come up for me. Let me break them down for you. 

My friends have started to parent me. I was out with a friend the other day who works with kids, and before we left a restaurant she said, "maybe we should use the washroom before we go" and sure enough, I had to go! 

My cousin was a huge help buying my place, and just in life in general. She's a great role model, and part of the reason I adult as well as I do. Sometimes she'll bring a meal along when she knows I won't have eaten, or gives me the same treats she gives the kids, and I love every second of it. 



The guys at Judo are my giant pack of dads. They teach me Judo, but also about life in general. It's a little family, who joke and tease as much or more as my biological one does. Had this new guy I was seeing been able to make it to the Judo banquet, I'm sure they'd have given him the grill. 

Even the Telus guy that came in to install my internet modem even gave me sound fatherly advice. I'd only been in my place a week, and he joked that he found himself voicing the help because he had a daughter my age. 

As much as I recognize the deficientcy, I appreciate the help. My support network is amazing, I have surrogate parents out the wazoo, and I like looking out for each other as humans. It's a nice fuzzy feeling. 





Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Dry erase couples ornament

I better patent this idea before someone else makes my millions. First thing I pulled out the Christmas box, and actually last thing in turn, was a couples ornament from last year.


I don't even want to think about how much money I've poured into those dorky, sentimental little things. All because I have this idea of pulling it out of the box as a family one day. I'm ashamed to say that some of them didn't even make it on the tree the next year!! Ridiculous. Little reminders of my failed attempts at a love life. I regret nothing, I learned something about myself every single time. Going into the Christmas season solo wasnt something I've done for a long time, but I'm willing to bet I've learned a lot this go around too. And not only how to save money on ornaments I'll be able to hang again next year. 


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Blinded

I had a life changing experience today when I was taking my old blinds, paint cans and ugly lamp to the recycling depot. If you can imagine, I'm dressed in business work attire for my shift after, and I pull up all smiles to the depot just down from my new place. 


"Well hello there, your website wasn't so clear, you'll take my blinds right?" 
"No actually, you'll have to take them to the dump next door for $25..." 
I can't imagine the look of sheer disappointment that came over my face because then he says, "Ok, you help me, I'll help you. If you separate the fabric from the metal frame, I throw out the fabric and recycle the frame." So there I am aggressively ripping the dusty fabric from the hinges, and we make small talk. "I just bought a condo, and I'm learning how to do small renovations, I have tools now!" And it's getting harder to pull them off, so I put my foot up on the bar as I'm tearing at them. "And no boyfriend to do this stuff for you hey?" YANK. Heaving my whole body into it. "Nope. No I don't."  
And then the best part. I got to walk the ugly lamp to the giant pile of crap, literally throw it out of my life. 


Just in case you thought I was exaggerating about how ugly it was or how good it felt to huck it. Who knew heavenly people wore reflector overalls and worked at recycling depots? 


Sunday, November 1, 2015

Selfie ad


I'm in protest. This is not ok. They used a selfie in a clothing ad for crying out loud!!!

Waiting for a fairy tale

I realized suddenly, I'm no longer waiting for my Prince Charming to show up and sweep me off my feet. I'm not a damsel in distress that needs saving. I don't want someone to take care of me. I want to meet someone as an equal, a partner in crime to tackle life with. Lately, I'm not even sure the traditional adults goals apply to me anymore: the husband, house, kids and dog. I'm not entirely convinced that I fit that cookie cutter, which shouldn't surprise anyone. I used to think people who didn't want any number of those things were quite odd, doesn't everyone? And now I might be one of them. I'm not sure what this wild ride has in store for me next, but I've opened my mind a little more to other possibilities. My life isn't a romantic comedy. I refuse to think about my dream wedding, and try to find a groom who fits it. It will be an afterthought, if it feels right for both of us. If he crashes into my life, I'll let love in, but I'm willing to bet it'll look a little different than I oringinally imagined.
 

Chez Jennz - a yelp review

As per my buddy Derrek: 
This was my first dining experience at Jenn's place, and my, what an experience it was. The place is small, quaint even, with a fun d├ęcor from what I could see. I say that, because much of the aesthetic was covered by clutter and boxes. I understand that they are in the process of moving, but to have so much sitting up front made it feel like I was somehow intruding. The wait staff was very friendly though, and service was very attentive. My meal, however, was a unique experience. Attempting to be post modernist, my Belgian waffle came 'deconstructed', and more resembled a salad than a breakfast classic. 


The raspberries, a welcome addition, had yet to be properly thawed, and so adorned what I was assured was the latest culinary trend half frozen, perhaps in horror of my thin tea, so clearly re-steeped. A final chocolate was a welcome addition, but the raspberry filling, which even the hostess admitted to disliking, only served to tauntingly remind me of the raspberries before. Aesthetic complaints aside, however, the meal was quite enjoyable, and the conversation with the hostess a welcome bit of personality. It also didn't hurt that she was a total babe and I'm not sure she was wearing any pants. She was also quite the trooper, carrying on with her shift after apparently suffering a seizure that brought her inexplicably laughing to the ground. All in all a great bit of local color with some mostly aesthetic complaints. 3.5 stars.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Bagel, extra cheese please!

In my recent endeavours with Coffee Meets Bagel, I've noticed a couple tendancies in myself. Nothing is too cheesy. One guy wrote that he liked cuddling, I liked him. Another wrote that they were "looking for another sweetie pie to call my own." Yup, I thought that was funny, partly because I think it's song lyrics, and partly because he had guts enough to write "another". As in addition to yourself a sweetie pie? I'm building an army of them! They all know about each other in my life...
Another guy wrote "desperate" in his which I found refreshingly honest, and I'd have given him a go if it didn't also say "kink". I had to check with my dating expert, that's short for kinky isn't it? Now 50 Shades of Grey has made the dating scene a scary place in my humble opinion. He used to have to find a way to drop his fetishes causally into the conversation on a third date, but now he just airs it out on his profile like his underwear on the line! Thanks a lot Mr Grey, but the only reason your book was so popular was because women are sexually repressed, not because we're all secretly hoping for that! No thank you! Gawd forbid I'm dating a guy and he spontaneously springs "kink" on my unsuspecting self, nuh uh. Although it would make a wicked post if I had the courage to tell it...
And what about this guy? 


Yes I passed, not because he took a mirror selfie, but I don't TRUST his abdominal muscles. I'm sure he worked hard for them, but they kinda look like they got lost, and ended up on a guy who plays too many video games. Smile! It's way cheaper than a gym membership! Bagel on. 

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Dinner time talk

We all have goals in life, right? When I make a card, I aim to get "mantle status" where the receiver of my card loves it so much they put it on display on their mantle. 


During my day, I like to connect with random strangers. I make jokes mostly. Especially to quiet, reserved people who look like their either gritting through the day, or about to explode. I like to brighten them, make them smile. I don't mind if I make fun of myself in the process, and appreciate very much if they give me that, "you're an odd duck..." look. But what I love the most, is imagining them sitting down to dinner with the their family that night saying, "You'll never guess what this random girl in line said today..." Mission accomplished. 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Photo

Recently I had the experience of going through some of my dads things, he passed away May last year. It's interesting to realize what was important to someone by the things they keep. I found school projects I don't even remember making, but the most special was all the photos. There were some of my dad when he was young with the vans he customized, and the van club parties. Pictures of friends he didn't talk to often, but I know he valued in a big way. Pictures of me. So many pictures of me! 


As the second kid, I thought my parents had forgotten how to use a camera by the time I came along, based on volume, so I was pleasantly surprised. Some I'll treasure forever. 


One picture stands out for me. It was taken when I was in the hospital with my appendix. They said I could only have one parent stay with me. Mom said automatically she'd stay, but they let me pick. "Daddy!" We stayed up tying flies together, right there in the hospital. 


One of those times dad was never worried about being "out of the box". I have so many dear memories, and to see them come alive in photos of the fishing trips, camping trips, my first time on a bike. I remember telling dad not to let go. But he did. And when I realized he had I crashed into a bush. He ran after me, fished me out and cuddled me until I stopped crying. And then he put me back on the bike.  


21 Days of Bagels

In my ongoing search for love, or argueably, juicy blog material, I starting using a dating app called Coffee Meets Bagel. I'm not surprised if you haven't heard of it, only two of my Facebook friends are on it, because of me. Seems to be more popular in the States based on the majority of guys on it. I am sent a "bagel", or hopefully single gentlemen once day. I see up to four pictures, and a short profile of things they like and are looking for. We only make a connection if they've also liked my profile. So far I've made only two connections. One who asked for my number he never used, and another who seemed to loose interest after 3 messages. Unlike Tinder who basically just ask you which bits you're looking for, and send you as many as possible in your area, this is slowly moving, and the perception is, better matches. Lots of great guys it looks like, but the feedback to me was that I need better pictures. 


What on earth is cuter than THAT? 


No, I didn't put that one up, but I was tempted to. Anyhow, it came up the other day, "Congratulations! You've signed in 21 days in a row! Extra bagel for you!" And I was thinking, oh gawd, I need a LIFE! Do you have any of those? Seems counter intuitive to send me another match, like giving booze to an alcoholic right? Bagel on. 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Big White ARM

I love the group shot we got at my friend Nicole's stagette a few weeks ago, she posted it to her Facebook page.


 I didn't realize right away how considerate this made my dear friend, until I saw the original. 


HOLY MAN! Do you see that giant white whale in the bottom left corner? It took me a minute to realize that it was attached to my person. It's bigger than most of her friends HEADS! I'm going to have to start paying property taxes on that damn thing! I considered that maybe I'm trying to smush it against my body to get in closer. Like maybe how ones thighs look the worst all flattened out while you sit on the toilet. Maybe. But then there's this picture...


See that wee stick? Same arm people!!

First time Grouse Ground

had it on my list this summer to do the Grouse Grind, so when Sarah suggested we do it today, the last day of summer, how could I say no? Even though we had to get up at the crack of dawn to get it in before my shift started. Just a little back story, a couple years back my roommate and manager at the time did the Grind within a month of each other, and despite their accounts being somewhat similar, I'll admit I thought they were exaggerating. Not that either of them are whimps, I did the Spartan Race with my manager, but it all sounded pretty extreme for a hike. 


I was expecting more of an epic entrance. There was this gate, a huge bright sign, and oh, we started. Did we ever. 


I was so happy to see this marker, you don't even know. Everyone says the first quarter is the hardest. I don't know about that in retrospect, it all felt pretty uphill. Can you tell how soaked I am? It poured. Absolutely drenched. But something else positive to come out of my experience doing the Ride, extreme wind and rain didn't even slow me down. Bring it on Mother Nature. 


And she did. The flash version of this shot is worse, I can assure you. I thought the stairs were the worst part, until I'd get to a spot I was sure the trail had ended. Then someone would pass me,which dozens did, and start climbing up the rock face beside me on all fours. 



This is obviously not my picture, there aren't mini waterfalls coming down, and whats that yellow hue? Sunshine? I stole this picture from Facebook. It captures the "all fours" experience though. 



The pain you see in this shot is real. I didn't even want to take this picture, but Sarah insisted since we'd already taken the other two. Kinda glad she did. This is where my shoes soaked completely through, which is impressive on it's own. Go Merrell. But it was quite sloshey after that. 



Never has a picture captured a feeling so well. Thank goodness that's over. 


Typical. But I had to. Glad to see my butt is in this shot, I couldn't feel it at all by that point. One would probably assume based on probability that it's still there, but confirmation is comforting. 


Another picture that's not mine, but its important to get a feel for what I'm talking about when I tell you about our gondola back down. Because of the wind, they had to leave the huge window in the front open, where Sarah and I were such geniuses to choose to be, despite being some of the first people on. "Oh look, the windows open so all the cold and rain is coming in, bet they'll close that.." No, they did not. And they went nice and slow to maximize drenchiness.   


Which lead to this. Including the "FIGHTER" headband that supports cancer, which I bought at the top. And a hot shower. But I had a great time! Next opportunity you have, do the Grind if you haven't yet. Maybe check the weather report before you go...

Friday, September 11, 2015

Tattooed men


For the most part, I'd have to agree with this. It doesn't make any logical sense, but a guy with a sleeve tattoo is more likely to catch my attention. That being said, a few things deter me. Big coloured flowers, skulls and other scary things. I've said it before, but I saw a guy with a chuckie tattoo on his arm, it was scary to look at it. But in the dark, if I rolled over in bed and came face to face with it, no thank you!! 

This might sound a little strange, but when the shading cuts off weirdly. If you have a big meiral on your arm, and the shading cuts off in a line mid bicep, I think that looks strange. I think it looks better when the tattoos seem to blend into the body, like big Celtic tattoos. 

It's also kinda fun when you don't know where they are, and you go on a scavenger hunt for them. "How many do you have? Hmmm...and I only see 3..." I bet that's more fun for guys, we're less predictable I'd say. Except for me of course. Three, all on my feet. Sexy on tatooed gents. 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Ride

Remember that awful storm we had a couple weekends ago that knocked out a lot of people’s power, that most people didn’t want to drive in? I was riding my bike in that! During the Ride to Conquer Cancer on Aug 29th and 30th, 2086 of us conquered torrential rain, 80-100km winds, and a 10km re-route that included extra hills. We slept in barns, and showered in trailers. I pushed myself to a whole new limit I didn’t know existed. 


They actually had to stop the ride after only 73km the first day due to the weather and safety concerns. A huge shout out to the organizers and volunteers for getting all of us and our bikes from the lunch stop to camp on such short notice. The tents we were supposed to sleep in were blowing over buildings, can you believe it? 



The second day I was pretty done after only 20-30kms, I looked at Cindy and said, "Yea, I don't honestly know if I'm going to make it.." but somehow we did another 100kms, and crossed the finish line to our awaiting family. I put myself to bed at 7:30pm that Sunday evening. Even now, almost two weeks later I still don't feel completely caught up on my sleep. 



Since I had, “Doing it for Dad” written on my jacket, quite a number of people have told me that dad would be proud of me, I hope that’s true. I had donations coming through online before I slept Friday, and as we were getting to the start line Saturday. Altogether I raised $4856.86 and rode my bike just over 200kms. I can’t possibly express the level of gratitude I feel to all my donors, my family, the event organizers, volunteers, fellow riders, and especially my cousin Cindy. My seemingly fearless leader, she encouraged me, lead by example, strong willed and determined. It was a small miracle that I crossed the finish line at all, but also an honour to do it beside you. 


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Almost 30

Now that I'm 27, people have started to use this term for me. Almost 30. No thank you. I am closer to 25 than I am to thirty, and yes my 10 year grad reunion is next year, what's it to ya? 
It probably bothers me so much because I still feel 22. Until I hang out with 22 year old and this happens...


But especially with dwelling hunting on the weekly calendar, I still feel the need to bring a real adult with me to showings. 


I don't want to be one of those people who obsesses over age, I think we're still damn lucky to be here, and every age should be celebrated, but it caught me off guard. Even when we celebrated my sisters dirty thirty last year, I felt a little betrayed to be honest. My own sister! I was pretty ready for 27, not as ready for almost 30. 

Friday, August 21, 2015

Death Cafe

Ever heard of this? Where a group of strangers get together to talk about death? It's a taboo subject, that our society doesn't like to think about. Wednesday night, with a friend of mine, I went to one. When we went around the group saying our names and why we were there. When it got to me, I said, "My name is Jenn, and before loosing the most important man in my life last year, my only experience with loss had been a hampster when I was 10." The guy running it asked me his name. I cried and choked on it a bit. Gary. I didn't realize how long it had been since I said it out loud, I call him dad you see. It could have been months. 

I think about death pretty often these days. How I will die, and what kind of legacy I'll leave behind. I used to rarely think of death, and always thought it would be old age that gets me, but lately I don't feel that same garuntee. Maybe it's survivors guilt, but I just don't feel safe about how long we have on earth anymore. Going to the Death Cafe helped me realize I'm not alone in my morbid thoughts. 

I cried. I laughed. It challenged a few of my ideals around our justice system, life after death and planning for death. We talked about a good death versus a bad death. We heard from someone who had a near death experience. We talked about suicide. The ages ranged from seventy six, to sixteen. Without betraying the confidentiality of the other people there and their openness to share, I can tell you I felt a sense of closeness and acceptance. Peaceful acceptance if you will. 

I bought the guy's book, so call me a sucker if you want, but he wrote inside, "your gentle heart is such a gift". And if that's true, I believe it was a gift I inherited. 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Never a dry eye

I keep thinking about that phrase "there wasn't a dry eye in the place" because someone said that about the Celebration of Life we had for dad. I didn't see a dry eye at the one for my cousin Aaron either. To be honest, there's been a lot of places since then too. There wasn't a dry eye in the car to work some days. Lots of days. In the living room when we watched that video again the other night. At the dentist when they asked about dad. At the hair dressers. Just now in the kitchen when we heard that song that hit a little too close to home, not a single dry eye. But I heard someone say it's a testiment to the love we had for them, and that I believe to be very true. 


My one open letter

Dear Mr. Sheeran,
I’ve decided to write you a letter because I have an aunt who lives in L.A. and there’s a radio station there announcing that now you’re done your tour, and looking for a nice girl to bring back to your mansion in Ireland. Like the rest of the bloody planet, I’ve been serenaded by your love songs. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t put my name forward for that, because if and only if BOTH the sharting story and the ketchup story are true, we are soulmates.
I actually don’t even know how I’ll get this to you, because I don’t have a clue where you are. How do you get a hold of celebrities? If you’re witty/tragic/rude enough to catch their attention online. It must be comforting for people who have stalkers to have someone admit that.
I’ve also never been to Ireland, although I said if I was ever single again I wanted to kiss my way from one coast to another. As many gingers as possible per kilometer. Ah yes, full disclosure, I have thing for gingers. But I’d promise to be on my best behaviour if we went there. I'm all talk anyhow. 
Are you close to Seattle? It’s just over the border into the States, Washington actually, from Canada. Which is where I am. Not in an igloo, although it would probably be more spacious. I’ll be in Seattle in just over a week, but I’m taking a ridiculous way of getting there. I’m riding my bike the 260km in the Ride to Conquer Cancer. Does that make me tragic, do I fit the bill? Nah, I don’t have a life threatening disease, but I have raised almost $4000 for the cause, which is still lots of money to me, as I’m not horribly talented and successful.
On the successful note, I haven’t checked the Wikipedia page you inevitably have, because I like to think we’re the same age. But maybe you’re just rising to fame before your twenties and that makes me at least 8 years your senior, and a cradle robber. Or you’ve got a baby face. My friends date older guys. Ok, I have this ONE friend who dates WAY older guys. She’d give me the ok as long as you’re not old enough to be my dad. Ew, for the record.
Now that I’m into the 5th paragraph, and frankly if you’re still reading this, we’re on a first name basis, is Ed short for anything? I know an Ed, his name is short for Edward. Like Edward Cullen! I’ll pretend not to be a closet Twihard, as long as you don’t sparkle when you’re shirt comes off. But damn, that would be funny right?
I guess it’s hard for famous people to date eh? I wouldn’t know. That same aunt from LA sees celebrities all the time, and she just ignores them, says they want to live average lives. I’m sure we have famous people here too, but I bet they hide because we don’t share Auntie’s mentality. But it’s not like you can just put yourself online. And I hate going on a date where the servers are too scandalously dressed, but I can’t imagine them throwing themselves on the table trying to get obscene body parts signed.
So then what? You just rent out the entire revolving restaurant? How low key. No pressure right? “I’ve made everyone here sign confidentiality agreements, how’s the chicken?”
And don’t let your friends set you up man, dammmnnnnn. Maybe you have friends with better judgment than mine, but what is it about being single that makes everyone try to pair you all up? I swear I’ve been on dates where the only thing we have in common is the fact that we’re single. Yes he’s a warm body with a heartbeat and no ring on his left hand, but I was looking for a little more...
And you have that whole fortune thing to take into consideration, because I’m betting SHE will. I’ve never had that problem. I had a boyfriend once that had me put things on my credit card and then he paid me back, but that’s just because I was slightly less broke than he was.
On that broke thing, I did attempt to go to your show when you came to Vancouver, but I don’t often go to concerts, and I couldn’t figure out how to buy tickets properly. The only ones that came up were over $80 each, because as my sister pointed out, it defaults to “most expensive first”. You were too expensive for me darling, but I heard you nailed it.
Yes darling. Because I’ve almost run out of things to say, and shockingly I still have your attention. I had a friend that shattered my dreams of convincing you to fall in love with me because she’d heard you were gay. I googled it and found your tweet about not being gay, not having a girlfriend, just enjoy the music. Oh we have though! If I lost 40 pounds, and learned how to dance in a way that didn’t embarrass my friends when we go out, I could almost be that brunette in the Thinking Out Loud video. Although I don’t know which is more outlandish, especially since this was me last weekend.


Yes. That’s icecream. I lived on that and wine for 5 days, got a tattoo with my grandma and called it a vacation. The time before that I jumped out an airplane tandem. I’ve sworn against ever doing it again, because it scared me half to death, but should you want to try it, we could strap together and give ‘er a go. I’ll make that exception.
Is it a bucket list item for you? Is the plan to keep writing chart topping songs? I have no musical talent to speak of, I played the trumpet in middle school, but I mostly just held it up and pretended. Please do keep it up though, myself and the rest of the lonely women in the world need a pairing to fuzzy socks and wine. I won’t add ‘tears’ here, we’re not THAT pathetic.
I think if there was ever someone deserving of love, it would be you. I don’t like the idea of people deserving other people though, same as I don’t like the idea of “dating someone out your field” or “dating down” because it implies a hierarchy of humans. It makes me uncomfortable to think that we’re evaluated against each other, based on what? Material items? Money? Stature? I had to add that one, I’m only 5’0 tall. But maybe that’s why I’ve worked up the courage to write to you. I believe we’re all equal. Except rapists and murderers, don’t get me started.
Well you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ve had as much fun as I have, and you’re smiling, even if you’re not Ed Sheeran, but especially if you are.
Love,
(oh yea, you’ve read it this far my fine feathered friend...)
Jenn


Thursday, August 6, 2015

Presleep musings

Some people have told me they have a hard time turning their brain off at night, they think about their day, problems, the great mysteries of the world and why we're here. I've never had this experience. The only thought that's ever kept me up is, "Right. So I have to pee. But I'm super comfortable. Would I be more or less comfortable if I got up, versus trying to hold it all night?" I usually fall asleep before I can properly make up my mind. And no, I don't ever pee the bed, it's not that kind of blog post. 


Monday, August 3, 2015

How rude autocorrect

When people ask me what was my most embarrassing moment, I have to think about it. Not because I don't have one, but because I have SO many, that were so many levels of embarrassing, it's hard to pick just one. This kind of stuff happens to me regularily, and I blame my twisted sense of humour, one hundred percent. But this time, I blame autocorrect. 
So Saturday I was hanging out at a friends for a BBQ/pool party and I remembered a guy I graduated with completed an Iron Man, so I wanted to message him on Facebook and congratulate him. We'd talked about going biking together, so when he asked me how my training is going, I said we should make it out, so he could kick my butt. Only thing is, my phone autocorrected "kick" to none other than "lick". Yup, I told a gorgeous guy I haven't seen in years he should lick my butt. Great. I don't blame him one bit for not messaging me back. 

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Hill ride

Since I was only doing a shorter ride yesterday, I decided to make it count and ride up a big hill we have in my city, Coast Meridian road. I'd ridden it once with dad back in the day, he kicked my butt! I was going pretty good, in the lowest gear, grinding away.  At the intersection at David Ave, a lady leaned out her car and said, "good for you! That's a big hill!!" Thank you stranger. 

I ride some of the way with a kid too, he couldn't have been 13-14. I kept saying things like, "keep at it! You're almost there" and "pick it up buddy, I'm catching up!" I was pretty sweaty when I got to the top. 


And the sunset was so nice yesterday!! 


The way down was totally worth it. A guy in a truck going the other way honked and yelled "good job!" So threw a fist in the air (just one, gotta be safe) and whooped! Then I check to make sure my nipples weren't showing through my shirt. They weren't. 

It wouldn't surprise me if Dad beat me up last night too. Three hard kilometres though, it felt good. 


Thursday, July 2, 2015

Singleness do's and do not's

I've been single for eight months now, so in practically an expert. Hardy har har. Ok so I've compiled a list of observations set out as guidelines...

DO go underwear shopping
If your collection is anything like mine was right out a long term relationship, time to invest. Sexy underwear for me usually includeds some awful combination of lace and animal print. With every new pair, throw out a pair with holes...

DO NOT keep your ex on social media
If you do, be prepared to find out with the rest of the world when he's dating someone new. I dated a guy once who three days after we broke up, his new girlfriend posted a picture of them in bed together. Ew. 

DO try some new things
You'll probably have a lot of free time to fill, try something you've never done. Sign up for an art class. Try Zumba. Say yes to the random Facebook invite. You might find yourself having fun, and meeting new people. Or if you're like me, in some strange situations with lots of good blog material...

DO NOT call your ex at 3am
He does not want to hear from you, or maybe worse, he does. You broke up for a reason, this is NEVER a good call. 

DO something you've always wanted to
No strings attached means don't hold back. That secret ambition you're embarrassed to let out? Do it! 

DO NOT rebound
It's never pretty is it? Yes we all know that one person who it worked out for, but I'm willing to bet we also know ten who it didn't, if we properly inventory. And let's keep that poor other persons feelings in mind while we dive in before we're properly ready. 

DO you 
Let your freak flag fly. Not everyone is a hiking, rich, spontaneous, dog loving vegan. I'm weary for "I'm normal!" Sounds boring to me, if you in fact are, ya weirdo. Freak on. 






Got nailed

I'm feeling like a huge gimp today because of a series of unfortunate events that have people wondering if I'm doing it on purpose. The bruise on my left arm from Tough Mudder is still healing. Then Monday I got a golf ball sized bruise on the front of my right arm from loading my bike on the rack for my training ride. On Wednesday I got an old Christmas light nail in my leg from my friends lawn.
I used to tell people I do well in panic situations, but appriently that's only if it's other people are panicking, because when I saw the nail hanging out, I was all screams, yelling and cursing until it was removed. (Thanks Kevin!)
So yesterday I had to get a tetnus shot in my left arm for the leg. 
Darn good thing the bungee cord I took to the face Sunday trying to get my bike on didn't bruise, people would be asking where the trunk went that ran me over. 
I think it's a combination of being a clutz, and I bruise easy. Compiled with a willingness to do rididculous things like Tough Mudder. Good thing I have a convincing smile! 


Monday, June 29, 2015

Back to back

Cindy and I rode two days back to back in April, and that weekend we pulled 18km on Sunday, and 32km on Monday, so 50km altogether. And it was my first time riding in the rain. HELLLLO skunk tail:


Today and yesterday we also rode back to back, but mostly due to the heat and lack of time, we pulled 10km yesterday and close to 35km today. I've discovered I don't do well in the heat. Even though we're on out bikes by 8am, it's still hot, and yesterday it was almost too much. Today, even though it was a few degrees hotter, the breeze or overcast clouds didn't make it feel as hot. 

Riding on the dikes in Poco today though presented other small challenges. Unleashed dogs being one. Now without sparking a huge debate between dog owners and the rest of the public about leashed dogs, I can say that on a bike, anything unpredictable is unnerving. Despite how well behaved your dog is, the possibility of it running in front of my bike, even more so when it's not in your control to stop it, doesn't bode well. I've been a dog owner most of my life, and how many times did my dogs display biking etiquette? Rarely. 

Another challenge was bugs. #bugsinmyteeth #bugs4breakfast and lets not forget #bugsinmysunblock. Between them and the dust, I actually thought I might have gotten a tan, but sadly it washed off. 

Even more disappointing than that was coming home to this: 


My mentor, cousin, coach and fearless leader Cindy rode us harder today since it was mostly flat and shorter, so Beatie's nerve was almost too much. But then again, I bet she was getting me back for her bath last night...



#wetbed #angrycat #furballrevenge #notimpressed #nocuddles #wetfoodreward 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Not so Tough a Mudder

Yes folks, I gone and done it again. Instead of one huge line to start Tough Mudder in Whistler this year, we had mini lines at the obstacles. One might prefer this, had it not been raining, and at one point, freezing rain. Half our team couldn't finish due to the cold, so by the time I got to Funky Monkey, I was pretty ready for it all to be over. 

Funky Monkey starts with a wooden platform, monkey bars, and water to plunge into if you don't make it. Spoiler alert, I didn't. But I must have swung backwards, because I also made unfriendly contact with that wooden platform I was telling you about with my arm, before hitting the water. I came up crying. And I kept crying, cold, wet and sore for the last kilometre.


I laughed when we got to the Dead Ringer event for legionaries, because it was upper body strength with your arms. Well, electro shock it was! I managed to finish, but just barely. I was the only person on my team to do every obstacle, but it sure wasn't pretty. And since some of us didn't make it to the end, there are already talks of next year. Not sure how excited I can get about that...

I tried to take a picture where I look hardcore, but this was the result:


Not so much. 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Cat pics

I was at the iPhone store yesterday, FINALLY getting my camera phone fixed, because anyone who knows me well, is aware I was deprived without it. So they guy asks if I backed it up. And I gave him a blank stare. So then he asks is I have anything on here I couldn't bare to loose. So all my family photos are backed up, but I have 100 pictures of my cat that aren't. 


I actually considered not handing it over!! Might be time to admit I'm one of them. A cat person...


This is us, nose to nose. Gawd we are CUTE!!