Harmonizing

It was suggested to me that trying a paid dating site might yield men looking for something more meaningful. In the wake of a new year and new beginnings, I decided to give 'er a go. I had a close family member help me set up my profile, and I learned a lot about her opinion of me, flaws and all. So many questions! I was at it for almost two hours! I get it though, let's match you based on all these areas of compatibility instead of "she looks HAWT!" *swipes right* 

So then I get sent matches. And I get to smile them if I so please. Then get this, MORE QUESTIONS! I thought I was being punked at first! Shut the front door, more questions! 

I decided I can have little in common with gents who sport neck tattoos. And guys who look like dads, as in they could be MY DAD. And then it was suggested to me that maybe not everyone is so honest about their age. 

I lie about my height. I say I'm 5 feet, but I'm not. But come on people, 4-anything just sounds so short! I'm lying by a quarter of an inch, not 15 years mister...

No Blobla

There's a new fad on Facebook that's driving some people nuts. You put your name in and it makes fun of something lots of people do on social media. I decided to give it a go. 

I do not! Did you know there's a "try again" button? 

Nope again. I am loyal, but no boyfriend. 

Also not true. I like the idea of being early, and I do appreciate my friends time, I have the best of intentions!

I drove from Whistler to Salmon Arm the back way once and checked into every winery on the way. "I'm coming Grams! I just got distracted again..." 

Grammatically incorrect? This one was probably the most true. I do like to pay people back as soon as possible because my memory is AWFUL. But I'm sure I've let it slip and forgotten.

Not touching that with a ten foot pole...

I think there's a high possibility that one year I actually became less mature on my birthday. I'm a birthday PRINCESSS! I like the biggest deal to be made. I wear a crown to work..not exactly the poster child of mature.

And so I gave up. I do think they're funny though, especially the parodys people who hate them have been posting. Party on! 

Dating "advice"

It's no secret that my dating posts always get the most hits, and I've been told my dedicated followers (hey grams!) get at least a little disappointed when I change my Facebook status from single. But here's a weird after effect of writing about dating, people seek advice like I'm some sort of expert. "Uh, did you actually read it?" If anything, I'm a reverse roll model, and reading about my online dating experiences should have you exhausting every other avenue before trying it. Which is exactly when I told two people in my life when they asked me which site to use. Don't! Join a club. Go to a random event with people you don't normally hang out with. Take up a hobby, and go meet people who enjoy that too. Like taking pictures of birds? There's a whole underground community for that! Do an event. Volunteer. Go out of your comfort zone. Try zip lining. You might find yourself having fun as a happy aside...

But be ready for rejection. It's a tiger I've had a hard time tackling lately. I've discovered a whole new go to phrase equivalent to "let's be friends" or "I'll call you". Another knee jerk reaction that comes out when you're not saying what you mean. "I'm not looking for a relationship" I'm calling bullshit gents. May as well finish that sentence by adding "with you" on the end. I don't care what you think you are or aren't looking for, your SOULMATE comes along and you're all, "sorry doll face..." Yea right. I ain't her, that's fine. I just feel like no one wants to be alone forever, so I'm not what you're looking for, or what I have to offer isn't jiving for you, but when she does comes along, she'll be worth throwing all that out the window for. All bets WILL BE off. That being said, I'm looking for a little more harmony in my life...

Shook up

For the record, the nights I've slept without some lights on at my new place since I've been here have been few and far between. Turns out, I'm a HUGE whimp. I don't watch scary movies, and right now there's an AD for one that creeps me right out. I slept on my parents floor when I was scared once, I don't even remember what spooked me, but I was 22. Now that you're properly prefaced, remember that earthquake we had last week? I was home alone, with the cat. Reading my book in bed. I heard intense creaking above me, like 100 people all jumped on the floor at once. And then my bed shook, real good. I was petrified. First I didn't move, I was hoping I could keep reading and forget it happened. Then my phone started going off. Yup, earthquake alright. I was messaging my auntie in LA who's been through tonnes. She found this:

I went to stay at a friends house. I was worried it was just a tremor for the bigger, badder earthquake. I was still shaking like a leaf when I got there. My co-worker pointed out that driving was silly, "don't the roads just crack open right up and suck you up?" That's a nice thought... Here's the freaky part though. Earlier that night I was organizing all my photos, a modest 2000 in four months, off my phone to make room. I'd put them on my computer and my removable disk drive, just to be safe. Then I thought I'd put the disk drive in my earthquake kit, so if I need to leave in a hurry, I have it. I found it in the back of my storage room and thought, "well that's silly, it needs to be closer to an exit!" So I picked it up, and moved it. I moved my earthquake kit closer to the door the night we had one. Do I think I'm psychic? Absolutely not. Is it possible it's not entirely a coincidence? Maybe. Weird things sometimes happen when you got someone on the other side looking out for ya I'm thinking.